Dance Me Free

When you’re connected to your feminine energy, you’re not just tapped in and turned on regularly to your partner, but to the music, life, the universe and yourself.

Your energy is literally vibrating. After all, we are vibrational beings first. And when we allow ourselves to connect to our true vibration, life itself becomes orgasmic.

I remember hearing a dating and relationship coach talking about the universe as our lover, that the universe is constantly penetrating us in a myriad of ways, but we need to open to receiving it.

When we honour our bodies and spirit, the universe kisses, caresses, adores, and even ravages us if we allow it. No need for a bedroom. Sometimes, we just need to take a step, walk into a new space, or let the moonlight glisten over our skin.

I was so out of my body before I showed up to dance. I was scared of using my body for play, fun, sports, or even feeling all of my feelings.

People often told me I was too sensitive, that I needed to toughen up. So I started closing my emotions off, and I didn’t trust my intuition. I let other people’s fears of opening up shape what I shared and how I moved through the world. It was timid, and out of alignment with the actual passion, creativity, and aliveness that was yearning to be expressed within me.

This misalignment between what I really felt and what I allowed to surface made it so I stepped into the world with trepidation. I wasn’t lined up on the inside so on the outside, I didn’t know how to physically interact with my environment. There was a battle going on in mind about what I should do or say, and what I should keep hidden.

As a child, I never even took the time to feel what it felt like to roll around in the grass, catch a ball, swing on the monkey bars, or even just laugh hysterically around friends and other kids.

I thought I needed to keep it inside me for fear that my vulnerability would be used against me, or that I would sound or appear silly. So I didn’t put myself in situations where I could fall, make mistakes, be goofy, or be made fun of.

The thing is, the more I stayed away from these normal activities and ways of being, the more I isolated myself from normal play, socializing, sports, and anything that involved getting in touch with building my body’s agility, speed, muscle memory, and confidence.

I didn’t form a relationship with my body that would help me move with intention, grace, or sex appeal. I just thought that wasn’t me. But I envied those who did.

The universe could feel this ache in me, and luckily, it brought me dance to help me break free and uncover what was inside me. Coming to dance, even as an adult, meant that I needed to not just reacquaint myself with my body, where its weight was placed, how it took up space, but also to give myself permission to awaken these parts for the first time.

Dance helped me experience various types of touches from fellow dance partners in a safe, fun and sacred manner.

Whether it was having my palm resting on a leader’s shoulder blade, or his forearm lightly pressing around my upper back, or my toes pressing in the floor, or the floor pressing up into my hip to give it a sexy sway, I was being touched and touching in ways I had never experienced before.

Dance also got me practising touching myself intentionally. Making movements have a sultry, seductive quality by caressing my own shape, running my fingers through my hair, or accentuating my hip movements with my hands on my waist. In all the movements, it was imperative that I actually felt my skin with my whole hand, that my curves be appreciated, and that I took my time when touching myself.

The audience needed to see that we were enjoying ourselves with these movements, but this also helped me learn how to enjoy the different parts of me, flirting not just with the onlookers, but also with myself.

Dance helped me discover what turned me on, and to move with the music, but also find my own rhythm and vibration. Some days, I wanted to take a lead’s initial move, and play off of it, staying in that space longer. I could feel the lead reacting to my energy and it would create goosebumps throughout my whole body.

Other nights I was excited to just be held closely, experimenting with the micromovements that would grow out of undulations in my hips or chest. Even our breaths between movements made me savour the pauses. I learned how much I loved the slow growth of movements, the build up, the escalation.

Dance taught me the importance of pleasure, from another, but also that I could bring it to myself, and it was okay to do so. That it was vital to my sense of being alive. Our life force energy.

Dance helped me feel into my life force energy. To recognize its power. That I didn’t need a dance floor to find it. It was my birthright. And my sensuality, coming from the sacral chakra, was not to be shamed but made sacred.

Dance taught me how to celebrate my sexual energy and see how it is connected to creative energy. Awakening my sexual energy meant awakening my creative self and my connection to source.

To create a painting, a piece of poetry, a baby, but also a dance, and dancing through life with flow and freedom meant being in touch with sensuality and play, and spirit and the cosmos.

That that sacred area of the body is so powerful that it can birth another life, but it can also birth a project, a new idea, a new way of thinking, and energy that creates worlds.

I had been cut off from my sensuality, my senses, maybe being ashamed to have those feelings, or to even honour my feelings and emotions. But dance helped me learn to own that part of me, to share it, to let it free me, and give others permission to do the same.

The music, the floor, my own letting go and connecting to the sacred made me recognise that it is a part of me. That pleasure is no longer something to be afraid of, but to tap into and make use of gives me leverage to be just as sensual and sexy as those women I was admiring.

Connecting to my sensuality has made me so connected to source energy and synchronicities. To fully embody my feminine energy which is all about pleasure, and intuition, and surrender and flow. Not just in my body, but with life.

Dance made me finally come to my senses, to connect to my sensuality, to no longer deny my sacredness. To vibrate in a way that matches the vibration of the universe and my dreams. To draw in what in the sexy and sensual to me with less struggle. To receive the penetrating power of the universe that has always been around us.